Archie Bunker: Everyone I like stays the hell away from me.
Archie Bunker: A man should always listen to his wife.
Edith Bunker: Archie, I.
Archie Bunker: Dummy up.
Archie Bunker: You gotta grab the bull by the corns.
Archie: Your honor, may I encroach the bench?
Archie Bunker: I tell ya, Edith, when a plumber's business goes into the toilet you're sitting pretty.
Archie Bunker: You worse than that hebe congressman Sam Irving.
Archie Bunker: Go out and get me a beer.
Edith: Can or bottle?
Archie: We never buy bottles.
Mike Stivic: You know, you are totally incomprehensible.
Archie Bunker: Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense.
Mike Stivic: I just thank God I'm an atheist.
Archie Bunker: In my bed I stay, 'til death us do part.
Gloria: Do you know that sixty percent of all deaths in America are caused by guns?
Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?
Mike Stivic: Archie, if there is a God, how come there's so much unhappiness in the world?
Archie Bunker: If there is a God how come there's so much unhappiness in the world? Uh... uh... hey, Edith... If there is a God, how come there's so much unhappiness in the world?
Archie: Free treatment for VD. VD. Do you know what that means, Edith?
Edith: Oh, yeah. V-D day.
Archie Bunker: She ain't gonna saying nothing more because the smoke has given her an attack of, what do you call, laryngosis.
Archie Bunker: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you are one dumb Polack.
Edith: Why don't you go out and finish dinner.
Mike Stivic: Nah, I ain't hungry.
Edith: Ya can't depend on nothing no more.
Edith Bunker: I'm home. I'm home, Archie.
Archie Bunker: Are you sure?
Archie Bunker: Silence is golden, so stifle thy self.
Archie Bunker: God can do anything! He can turn your jawbone into an ass.
Archie Bunker: Say there, Rosemarie.
Stephanie: Stephanie.
Archie Bunker: Whatever.
