Barney: Suit up!
Barney: Haaaaave you met Ted?
Marshall: I'm not a gay pirate, I have sex with my parrot all the time! OK, that came out wrong.
Barney: Challenge accepted!
Barney: What's that? Self five? Nice! We out!
Barney: Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro-I'm Broda!
Lily: You son of a bitch!
Barney: Ted, tonight we're gonna go out. We're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be legendary. Phone-five! [Slaps cell-phone.] You didn't phone-five, did you? I know when you don't phone-five, Ted.
Marshall: I think we're going to wait on the baby thing. I mean I love babies. Babies rule. Pudgy arms and stuff. But, uh, they make you old. Kinda like this anchor weighing you down to one spot... Forever.
Claire: I'm three months pregnant.
Marshall: Not awkward, guys. Not awkward if we don't let it be awkward.