M*A*S*H
Movie Quote Quiz

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet - S1-E17

Henry Blake: All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war, and rule number one is that young men die. And rule number two is that doctors can't change rule number one.

13

Frank Burns: You disgust me!
Hawkeye: You're right, Frank... I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting.

5

Frank Burns: I know I'm a real asset.
Hawkeye: You're only off by two letters.

5

Fade Out, Fade In (60 mins.) - S6-E1

Winchester: But, know this. You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill, but can not break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.
Potter: I think he's getting the hang of this place.

Movie Nut
4

Frank Burns: Courage is something you shouldn't be afraid to have.

4

Chief Surgeon Who? - S1-E4

Gen. Barker: What are you doing?
Radar: Doing, sir?
Barker: D-O-I-N-G. Doing. What are you doing?
Radar: Uh, listening to you spell doing sir.
Barker: Doesn't Col. Blake mind you drinking his whiskey and smoking his cigars?
Radar: Oh, very much so, sir.
Barker: Then why are you doing it?
Radar: Well, I don't mind, and I figured as long as one of us was being reasonable.

Movie Nut
3

Frank Burns: I wonder if I can say something useful?
Trapper: I often wonder that too, Frank.

3

Frank Burns: I'm taking this to a higher authority.
Trapper: Aw, Frank... You're not going to write your mother again.

3

Radar: Sir, I was just crossing the compound when...
Frank Burns: I have no interest in the compound.
Klinger: He has no compound-interest.

3

Frank Burns: The men hate me, don't they?
Radar: Just your guts, sir.

4

What's Up, Doc? - S6-E19

Dr. Winchester: My family has had problems with immigrants ever since we came to America.

3

PA System: Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800.

2

Radar: Sir, there's someone waiting to see you.
Henry Blake: I was born with someone waiting to see me.

2

Henry Blake: Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?
Radar: One of us has to.

2

Frank Burns: I love it here.
Col. Potter: Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one.

2

Frank Burns: Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy.
Margaret: We're lucky to be two of the few and not the many.
Frank Burns: I know, darling, and I love being both of us.

2

Maj. Burns: You're losing half your apple sauce. Apples don't grow on trees, you know.

2

Private Charles Lamb - S3-E14

Frank: What kind of a jackass do you think I am?
Radar: Oh, you'd know that better than me, sir.

Movie Nut
1

Divided We Stand - S2-E1

Radar: Captain, it's me, Radar.
Hawkeye: Get out of here, Radar, or I'll sever every nerve in your butt!

Movie Nut
1

The Consultant - S3-E17

Trapper: Where'd you learn to drive?
Radar: The Bumper Cars
Trapper: Figures.

Movie Nut
1
M*A*S*H mistake picture

Death Takes a Holiday - S9-E5

Visible crew/equipment: After Charles confronts Choi Sung Ho about the candy, Ho explains that he sold it on the black market to buy real food, and when Ho reenters the mess tent through the side door, we can see that outside there's a director's chair, which actors also use, with something printed on its back.

Super Grover Premium member
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Trivia: Gary Burghoff's left hand was slightly deformed, and he often hid it behind his clipboard during filming.

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Dear Dad - S1-E12

Question: A number of times it is mentioned that the outfit is unarmed, yet several times, Frank has a rifle, or a pistol, and once Klinger had a grenade, and the guards and Klinger, while on sentry duty, has a rifle. Was this standard, or is this a mistake?

Answer: Even an Army field hospital would have SOME weapons for self-defense if the enemy attacked. What's meant is that it's not a combat outfit, and therefore wouldn't have enough weapons to actually attack anyone. (It's also mentioned a few times that the Officer of the Watch is supposed to carry a pistol at all times, but Hawkeye refuses to do it when he's in charge and Colonels Blake and Potter don't enforce the rule).

Captain Defenestrator Premium member

Answer: As an old medical unit staffer, my experience is that med units have combat units assigned to defend them. Usually it was marines.

Answer: The Geneva Convention allows even doctors to carry a sidearm to be used in their self defense or the defense of their patients, however it is rare to do so.

stiiggy
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