Frasier: Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem.
Frasier: And though washing one's hands twenty to thirty times a day would be considered obsessive/compulsive, please bear in mind that your husband is a coroner. Thank you for your call, Jeanine. Roz, whom do we have next?
[Martin sees Frasier has a lot of cuts on his face from shaving.]
Martin: I thought you were just going to slit your wrists. Looks like you went for death by a thousand cuts.
Frasier: I cut myself shaving because I was shaving without water. Why was there no water? Because I had to move your chair, which gouged the floor, which made me call for Joe, who found bad pipes, which called for Cecil, who ate the cat that killed the rat that LIVED IN THE HOUSE THAT FRASIER BUILT!
Roz: It's not like she worships the devil!
Frasier: She doesn't have to worship the devil! He worships her!
Frasier: You know the expression "Living well is the best revenge"?
Niles: Wonderful expression. I just don't know how true it is, you don't see it turning up in a lot of opera plots."Ludwig, maddened by the poisoning of his entire family, wreaked vengeance on Gunther in the third act by living well."
Frasier: Cupid and his arrow have declared me an endangered species.
Daphne: We're not the awful people you think we are!
Frasier: No! The truth is we've been lying to you all night!