The One With Ross's Teeth - S6-E8
Monica: What happened to your teeth?
Ross: I whitened them.
Ross: Yeah, what... What do you think?
Monica: Well, uh, I think I shouldn't look directly at them.
Ross: Come on, seriously.
Monica: Ross, they're really, really, really white!
Chandler: Yeah, what was wrong with your old... Human teeth?
Ross: Well, I did leave the gel on a little longer than it said to.
Monica: How much longer?
Ross: Uh, uh... A day.
Monica: Ross, you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
Ross: I know! That's why I did it! Come on, are they really that bad?
Chandler: No. No, no, no, you'll be fine. Hilary's blind, right?
Monica: She will be after tonight.
The One With Chandler In A Box - S4-E8
Monica: Fine, judge all you want to, but [to Ross.] married a lesbian, [to Rachel.] left a man at the altar, [to Phoebe.] fell in love with a gay ice dancer, [to Joey.] threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, [to Chandler.] LIVE IN A BOX!
The One With Frank Jr. - S3-E5
[After Joey's just drilled through a wall very close to Chandler's head, Chandler runs into the living room.]
Joey: Oh, did I get you?
Chandler: No, you didn't get me! It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!
The One With The 'Cuffs - S4-E3
Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: I'm getting dressed.
Chandler: Because when I go outside naked, people throw garbage at me.
The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie - S4-E10
Rachel: No accountants. Oh, and no one from, like, "legal." I don't like guys with boring jobs.
Chandler: Oh, and Ross was like what, a lion tamer?
The One Where the Monkey Gets Away - S1-E19
Chandler: She obviously got my message. And is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
The One Where Old Yeller Dies - S2-E20
Monica: All right, I've got a leg,3 breasts and a wing.
Chandler: How do you find clothes that fit?
Joey: How you doin'?
The One With All The Resolutions - S5-E11
Joey: Do you know something?
Rachel: Do you know something?
Joey: I might know something.
Rachel: I might know something too.
Joey: What's the thing you know?
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Joey: I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Joey: Okay, fine. [Pause.] You don't know!
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!
Joey: [gasps.] YOU KNOW!
The One Where Ross Dates a Student - S6-E18
Ross: I would date her, but there is a big age difference.
Joey: Well think about it - when you're 90...
Ross: I know, she'll be 80 and it won't be such a big difference.
Joey: No, that's not what I was going to say at all. What I was going to say is, when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Chandler: If I were a guy, and...did I just say IF I were a guy?
The One With The Screamer - S3-E22
Monica: Who's number two?
Chandler: 'Whose number two' - one of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
The One Where Joey Moves Out - S2-E16
Joey: What are you getting so bent out of shape for? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie!
Answer: The statements that she's contradicting (that it is common, it happens to every guy, and it's not a big deal), are the things that a woman commonly says to a man who is suffering from erectile difficulty, typically to assuage his bruised ego. However, most men do not believe that these statements are true, as evidenced by Chandler's outburst. He's so caught up in the proof that women are lying about it that he gives himself away.
Rooster of Doom