Jim Rockford: Hey, I'm sorry Dad, you just caught me at a bad time. Reading that detective fiction doesn't help. I mean things aren't like that you know? They're not black and white. They're aren't any heroes left, they die young. (pointing to a book cover) His gun is deadly? Mine's in a cookie jar.
Beth Davenport: And Jim, try to be nice.
Jim Rockford: Are you kidding? You don't mouth off to anything that big. He looks like 190 pounds of gristle.
Electric Larry: Harry, the soda machine at the bar is busted again.
Harry Smick: It was fixed last week.
Electric Larry: Tell that to the customer drinking scotch and air.
Jim Rockford: I hope you'll accept my sincerest apologies, agent Stoner. Don't you worry, my insurance company is gonna cover all this. Here, let me see that. Oh, just a scratch! You're gonna be fine!
Harry Stoner: You are right on the tender age of getting thrown on Leavenworth. You should do yourself a big favor and think about what you say to me before you say it. Cos I am a man with absolutely no sense of humor. Smart mouths turn me off, and I am beginning to suspect YOU have a smart mouth.
Jim Rockford: You're right, you're right, I do. But I am working on changing that.
Harry Stoner: Good. Now where's my gun?
Jim Rockford: Right over there. Here, let me get it for you. I know right where I threw it. (00:24:30)
Snobbish woman: You know, Arnold thinks that we should spend the whole season in Europe, and I am beginning to think he's right. We did get to know quite a few titled people. LA is getting quite tacky...Did you met the Countess in Europe?
Jim Rockford: I met her at Marine Land.
Snobbish woman: Oh. Strange.
Jim Rockford: I run the hot dog concession next to the killer whale exhibit. The Countess loves my footlongs. I make 'em great. Lots of chili and hot mustard. Course I have a secret ya know: I pre-cook the hot dogs and wrap them in cellophane. That's the secret. Cellophane. Keeps 'em from getting tough.
Snobbish woman: Would you excuse me...[leaves disgusted] (00:09:00)
Jim Rockford: Freeze, turkey.
Marcus Hayes: You have a hair-trigger, Mr.Finch.
Gandolph Finch: That's right, mouth... and you're sitting on the edge of a big disaster.
Marcus Hayes: I like him Jimmy. He's got pluck.
Lance White: I hate it when anybody dies. Even someone like Blackwood. I'm sure he wasn't a bad guy at heart probably.
Jim Rockford: Oh yeah, you throw out the cocaine busts and what, a little pushing around the high schools and what have you got left? Just a sweet guy with a problem.