Jess: You're getting a thrill out of this, aren't you, you pervert! Oh my God, you're Martin Sharp! You are a pervert.
Jess: JJ, I'm a professional liar, you're not even a competent one.
Julia Maddon: Oh my god! Oh my god.
Tobey Marshall: Hey, hey. Look at me. Just breathe, breathe. Good. Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes. Good. What color are they?
Julia Maddon: They're really blue.
Tobey Marshall: They're really blue, good, good. They're a lot bluer than yours.
Julia Maddon: No.
Tobey Marshall: Yes they are.
Julia Maddon: They're not.
Tobey Marshall: Yes.
Julia Maddon: They're not bluer.
Tobey Marshall: Admit it.
Julia Maddon: Mine are bluer.
Ellie: Being there for someone when they need you, that's all relationships are.
Preppy Guy: I need a drink too. I'll get you a drink too.
Ellie: Honestly what if I enjoy the drink. What happens then?
Preppy Guy: I'd love to hear what you think happens then.
Ellie: I'll tell you what happens then we go play beer pong with your two roommates until I end up back at yours in Murray hill.
Preppy Guy: Yeah, that's right how'd you know that.
Ellie: Yeah then I have to listen to your roommate have sex with Hilary, or Emily or whatever the girl's name is, until we fall asleep. And then a year later we're still playing beer pong in the same bars with your friends except now you feel pressured to get married and have kids because you think that's what I want.
Jason: Then in the summers you drive up to the Hampton to meet his parents wondering the whole ride if they're going to think your pretty enough.
Jason: Wondering the whole ride if they're going to think you're smart enough.
Ellie: Because no one is and then we have to drink shitty chardonnay.
Jason: At a shitty garden party.
Ellie: And have shitty conversations.
Jason: About shitty people.
Ellie: With his shitty mother.
Jason: Who let's face it doesn't think you're smart enough.
Jason: Let's face it, doesn't think you're pretty enough.
Ellie: Because no one is.
Jason: No one ever will be.
Preppy Guy: What's all that shit, I'm just talking about a drink.
Jason: Yeah, but it wasn't just a drink though, was it.
Ellie: It was a marriage proposal.
Preppy Guy: Woah marriage, nah. It was a vodka soda. Alright fuck you guys then [walks off].
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