Quotes from Jim Parsons movies and TV shows

The Extract Obliteration - S6-E6

Stephen Hawking: Do you like brain teasers?
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I love brain teasers.
Stephen Hawking: What do Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck. Neener, neener.

Pilot - S1-E1

Penny: Four years I lived with him! Four years, I mean that's like as long as high school!
Sheldon: It took you FOUR YEARS to get through high school?

Pilot - S1-E1

Penny: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.

The Bat Jar Conjecture - S1-E13

Sheldon: At this point, I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the very bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears!
Leonard: Thanks for the heads up.
Sheldon: You're welcome. [Turns to leave.] One more thing,
Leonard: Yes?
Sheldon: It's on, bitch.

Sheldon: I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested.

Sheldon: You participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow effects your personality.

Pilot - S1-E1

Sheldon: We are committing genetic fraud. There's no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate high IQ offspring, think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.

The Dumpling Paradox - S1-E7

Sheldon: Every Saturday morning since we've lived in this apartment, I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a bowl of cereal, added a quarter cup of 2% milk, sat on that end of that couch, turned on BBC America and watched Doctor Who.
Leonard: Penny's still sleeping.
[Sheldon stares at Penny for some time.]
Sheldon: Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment.

Sheldon: You have about as much chance of going out with Penny as the Hubble Telescope has of finding that at the center of each black hole there's a little man with a flashlight trying to find the circuit breaker.

Pilot - S1-E1

Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on MySpace.
Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them.
Sheldon: That's the beauty of it.

Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I'm most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your roommate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm gonna make it look.

More The Big Bang Theory quotes

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