Quotes from Keith Gordon movies and TV shows

Lou: Come here. I want to tell you something.
Jason Melon: What?
Lou: You were pretty hard on your father last night.
Jason Melon: I know, but the guy doesn't understand.
Lou: I know your pop thirty years. He understands. He's a nice guy, and he's tough. Like me. I'm nice, and I'm tough. I'll give you an idea what I mean. My two boys, I put one through college and the other I put through a wall. Your papa loves you. He's lookin' out for ya. Look out for him.

Thornton Melon: Boy, what a great-looking place. When I used to dream about going to college, this is the way I always pictured it.
Jason Melon: Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
Thornton Melon: When I used to fall asleep in high school.

Thornton Melon: When's our first class?
Jason Melon: Uh, we got Economics tomorrow at 11 o'clock.
Thornton Melon: 11 o'clock? No good. I got a massage 11 o'clock. Tell 'em to make it 2 o'clock.
Jason Melon: No, dad. Uh, you don't get it. They're not gonna re-schedule the classes around your massage.
Thornton Melon: All right, 11 o'clock, but I'm gonna talk to that Dean. I mean, these classes could be a real inconvenience.

More Back to School quotes

Arnie Cunningham: Oh man, there is nothing finer than being behind the wheel of your own car! Except maybe for pussy.

Arnie Cunningham: Whoa, whoa. You better watch what you say about my car. She's real sensitive.

George LeBay: Her name's Christine.
Arnie Cunningham: I like that.
Dennis Guilder: Come on Arnie, we gotta get goin', huh?
George LeBay: My asshole brother bought her back in September '57. That's when you got your new model year, in September. Brand-new, she was. She had the smell of a brand-new car. That's just about the finest smell in the world, 'cept maybe for pussy.

Rudolph Junkins: I understand, uh, one of the perpetrators, uh, defecated on the dashboard. Now, I woulda thought you'd be madder than hell at that. And I thought you woulda reported that.
Arnie Cunningham: Shit wipes off.

Arnie Cunningham: Has it ever occurred to you that part of being a parent is tryin' to kill your kids?

More Christine quotes

Billie Jean: Lloyd, do you make videos?
Lloyd: All the time.
Billie Jean: What about copies?
Lloyd: I can make as many as you want... You are absolutely right.
Ophelia: What's she talking about?
Lloyd: She's gonna answer their call.

Ophelia: You're supposed to be taking your medication! Your father says please give him his pills.
Lloyd: I haven't had a pill since we left the house, haven't wheezed once.

Putter: Is that a boy or a girl?
Lloyd: Girl, Joan of Arc. She dressed up as a man and led the French in fighting the English. She heard voices, 'stop being a peasant', 'France needs you', 'the truth needs you'. And she won, she beat the English, but then.
Putter: Then what?
Lloyd: The French, burnt her, alive.

Billie Jean: You ever been to Vermont?
Lloyd: Sure, on ski trips.
Billie Jean: Maybe we should go there tonight, all of us, hitchhike.
Lloyd: You can't do that, not now, everybody knows you, they want to see you get the money.
Billie Jean: They want to see us dead, remember Joan of Arc?

More The Legend of Billie Jean quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.