Ben Jonson: Politics? My play has nothing to do with politics. I-i-i-it's just a simple comedy.
Earl of Oxford: It showed your betters as fools who'd go through life barely managing to get food from plate to mouth were it not for the cleverness of their servants. All art is political, Jonson, otherwise it would just be decoration. And all artists have something to say, otherwise they'd make shoes. And you are not a cobbler, are you Jonson.
Roger Greenberg: Wish it wasn't too late to get my medical degree.
Ivan Schrank: It's not too late.
Roger Greenberg: I'd be over 50 by the time I graduated.
Ivan Schrank: What is it? Four years, right?
Roger Greenberg: Yeah, but I know myself. I'd procrastinate, take time off. Eight years at best. Who's gonna hire a 49... Let's just call it 50. A 50-year-old vet?
Ivan Schrank: I'm confused. Are you going to vet school or regular medical school?
Roger Greenberg: Neither,.
Adrian: Grandpa Lucifer always said it was better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven. Well, I'm tired of serving in Hell.
Howard Marks: A dealer is really just someone who buys more dope than he can smoke. And I have to say, I'm ashamed, I tried to smoke it all. There was just too fuckin' much of it.
Dudley Moore: Is my entire contribution to this show going to consist of my humiliating myself?
Peter Cook: No, Dudley. We'll do that for you.
Dudley Moore: Thank you. I wouldn't want to be appreciated or anything.
Peter Cook: Well, we initially tried looking up to you, Dudley... but when we did, we invariably found ourselves looking down.
Peter Cook: Alcoholics need a drink first and last thing. I need oral sex and a cigarette. Which means I'm not an alcoholic.
Lin Chong: I'm not going to sleep with you.
Peter Cook: But you see it would enable me to distinguish you from the cleaner.
Join the mailing list
Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.