TV Kiddie Show Host: Sure, I remember that kid, he had on the most realistic looking pig costume I've ever seen. He won first prize.
Oliver Douglas: No, you don't understand, Arnold is a real PIG.
TV Kiddie Show Host: I'll say he is! We had five gallons of ice cream for those kids, and he ate every bit of it himself.
Hank Kimball: Hello, Mrs Douglas! How are you?
Lisa Douglas: Hello, Mr. Kimball. I'm fine. Well, I'm not really fine. I have a little headache. Well, it isn't a little headache, it's a... it went away.
Hank Kimball: I know somebody that talks just like that. Well, not just like that. What was his name? Oh yes, it was... no, it wasn't him.
Oliver Douglas: But he couldn't be dead.
Fred Ziffel: Oh, yes he could, I personally attended his funeral.
Oliver Douglas: Are you sure?
Fred Ziffel: I don't know what you do in New York, but around here we don't give a man a funeral unless we're pretty sure he needs one.
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