Townsperson: Well, I know the Bible says Jesus turned water into wine, but it didn't say liquor store wine. It had to have been non-alcoholic wine, because it didn't have time to ferment.
Scrappy Holmes: Well, trials are generally moved when the judge determines that the defendant can't get a fair trial locally. And that's usually because the crime is so egregious and so well-known that everybody in the community has already convicted the poor soon of a bitch accused of it. But in all the years I've been doing this for a living, I have never heard of the State seeking a change of venue because the defendant was so well-liked that they couldn't get a conviction.
Scrappy Holmes: So why did you leave the body there? It would seem to me that if you didn't want to get caught, you'd find some way to dispose of it.
Bernie Tiede: Oh, no, no. No, I could never do that. That was never my intention. Everyone deserves a proper burial. And I was... I was just waiting for my chance to give her one.
Café Waitress: It's not as bad as people say it is. He only shot her four times, not five.
Danny Buck: You know what? You people are as crazy as coot.