Dante Spirou: Vanilla Ice banged grandma? That's fucking awesome.
Donny: Mrs. Ravensdale, you wanna whip them knockers out? We'd love to see them.
Mrs. Ravensdale: All right, you know what? You are an imbecilic, immature, asinine, childish, cave man-like, hairy knuckled, single chromosomal, obnoxious, uneducated, ignorant asshole who I would like to fuck hard and long.
Donny: So I'm going to go put a dent in that.
School Buddy #1: What's a handjob?
School Buddy #2: I don't know, but I think I want one.
Donny: Look at you guys. You've got your faces covered in leprechaun shit. We should be getting whacked off, all of us, as a fucking team.
Donny: That's my boy.
Bridesmaid: So you actually knew Todd's father?
Donny: Of course I knew the guy. He was handsome, he had fuckin' great hair, uh, a Jedi with the chicks. Went down on girls for a wicked long time 'cause he was a giver and he wanted to see others be happy.
Helen: Oh, I wish I could have met him.