Pirate Captain: Behind every captain, there's a crew. Sure, some of you are as ugly as a sea cucumber, some of you are closer to being a chair or coat rack than a pirate, and some of you are fish I've just dressed up in a hat.
Pirate Captain: Avast! I'm a pirate captain, and I'm here for your gold!
Sailor: Gold? Afraid we don't have any gold, old man. This is a leper boat. [His arm falls off.] See?