Eric Matthews: Don't look at me like I betrayed you.
Gracie Hart: No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there.
Miss Hawaii: Oh I know and it's an honor to have made it this far, I mean especially when you come from such a small state,.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Oh that's so true. Us Rhode Islanders.
Miss Hawaii: Umm I wasn't finished. Did it sound like I was finished?
Cheryl "Rhode Island": I'm sorry. I,.
Karen "New York": Ay Dios, what are you apologizing to her for? She's obviously been drinking too much Coppertone.
Gracie Hart: Sir, that is one really really purple Russian, sir.
Gracie Hart: Ok, with all due respect here, why did Miss Morningside suggest you?
Victor Melling: Because I am the best... they had their Southern belles, their Midwestern farmers' daughters, spunky western cowgirls, and I have... dirty Harriet.
Gracie Hart: The last time I was this naked in public I was coming out of a uterus.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": I was like a female Rain Man.
Gracie Hart: My teeth - What are you going to do with my teeth?
Victor Melling: Hopefully, remove the beer stains and steak residue.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me - she said they were Satan's panties.
Victor Melling: There are no words.
Mary Jo Wright, Miss Texas: Will you please go back to the mothership?
Frank Tobin: Only if you go with me, Tex-ass.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": My parents don't like anything ostentatious. And they really don't like fire.
Victor Melling: Don't pick your feet up. Why are you picking your feet up?
Gracie Hart: Because I'm preparing to run away.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": My idea of a perfect date would be a man who takes me to a romantic dinner, and then we walk along the beach barefoot discussing books and - and music and - and movies.
Karen "New York": No wonder you're still a virgin.
Victor Melling: By the way, what are you planning to do for your talent: sing, dance, chew with your mouth closed?
Gracie Hart: I will do whatever you want me to do, Yoda.
Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
Victor Melling: I knew I'd never get you here, unless you had the chance to shoot someone.
Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'.
Eric Matthews: Why don't just you shut up?
Gracie Hart: Why? You're shutting up enough for both of us.
Victor Melling: Ten out of eleven years my girls were crowned. The year we lost, the winner was a deaf-mute. You can't beat that.
Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced.
Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?
Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one.
Answer: Yes, I can speak Russian, and what they said in the movie did make sense but they spoke so horribly it was almost impossible to understand them. But it wasn't bull.