Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its people.
Ash: Well hellooo Mister Fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and shit... And Jack just left town.
Ash: Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with... Molecular structures.
Ash: Sure I could've stayed in the past. Could've even been king. But in my own way, I am king. Hail to the king, baby.
Supermarket Witch: I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: Come get some.
Ash: First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.
Ash: Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. This... Is my BOOMstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel... And a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!
Arthur: Are all men from the future loud-mouth braggarts?
Ash: Nope. Just me, baby... Just me.
Ash: Gimme some sugar, baby.
Ash: Maybe, just maybe, my boys can pull this off. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.