Phil Wenneck: You're not really wearing that are you?
Alan Garner: Wearing what?
Phil Wenneck: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you just fuckin' with me?
Alan Garner: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil Wenneck: So does Joy Behar.
Phil Wenneck: [using the loudspeaker on a police car.] Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack. [To himself.] I should have been a fucking cop.
Stu Price: I lost a tooth! I married a whore!
Phil Wenneck: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.
Alan Garner: Tigers love pepper... They hate cinnamon.
Phil Wenneck: Best little chapel, you know where that is?
Doctor: I do. It's at the corner of get a map and fuck off.
Officer Franklin: I see guys like you in here every fuckin' day.
Officer Garden: Every fuckin' day!
Officer Franklin: Yeah let's all go to Vegas and get really fucked up!
Officer Garden: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Officer Franklin: Let's go steal a cop car because it'd be real fuckin' funny!
Stu Price: You found the car?
Officer Franklin: Yeah! It was parked in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. With a note that said "Couldn't find a meter, so here's $4."
Phil Wenneck: To a night the four of us will never forget!
Phil Wenneck: Who was that guy? He was so mean!
Stu Price: That's my grandma's ring. She made it all the way through the holocaust with that thing. It's legit.