Richie Norris: Wow, he just made the international sign of the doughnut.
President Dale: Why can't we work out our differences? Why can't we work things out? Little people, why can't we all just get along?
Sue Ann Norris: I'll tell you one thing, they ain't gettin' the TV.
Grandma Florence Norris: Richie, I think these guys are very sick.
Martian Translator Device: All green of skin... 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.
General Decker: What the hell does that mean?
Richie Norris: I want to thank my Grandma for always being so good to me, and, and for helping save the world and everything.
Martian Translator Device: We come in peace! We come in peace.
Professor Donald Kessler: We know they're extremely advanced technologically, which suggests - very rightfully so - that they're peaceful. An advanced civilization, by definition, is not barbaric.
Richie Norris: I bet you're psyched about the Martians coming Grandma? I mean, you've seen a lot of crazy stuff already. Everyone must have been real scared when they invented the train.
Grandma Florence Norris: Come on kid I'm not that old.
President Dale: Rest assured that we will soon come out at a very real outcome.
President Dale: What do you think, Marcia?
First Lady: Kick the crap out of 'em.
Art Land: I'd been thinkin' about Mars when there wasn't no Mars.
President Dale: General Decker, if you do not shut up I am going to relieve you of your commands.
Gen. Decker: We have to strike now, sir! Annihilate! Kill! Kill! Kill.
President Dale: Shut UP! shut UP! shut UP.
Richie Norris: Should I go get Grandma?
Richie's Dad: Oh forget Grandma! She's halfway into space already.
Rude Gambler: You wanna conquer the world, you're going to need lawyers, right?
Taffy Dale: Guess it wasn't the dove.
Billy Glenn Norris: Bye bye, Grandma.
Grandma Florence Norris: Goodbye, Thomas.
Billy Glenn Norris: It's Billy Glenn, Grandma.
Grandma Florence Norris: I know, Thomas.
Grandma Florence Norris: They blew up Congress! Ha ha ha ha.