Rube Baker: Hey, Cerrano. I'm on the rooster.
Harry Doyle: So a tough loss for the Indians as Pedro Cerrano doubles off a pigeon and is tagged out while administering CPR before the tying run could score. Funny game ain't it Monty?
Monte: Well at least the bird survived.
Harry Doyle: Who cares? It's a rat with wings.
Rebecca Flannery: You were so wonderful out there, Rick. The General Cereals reps are here.
Suit #1: Great game, Rick. We'd like to offer you a 3 year.
Rick Vaughn: Sorry, fellas, but you got the wrong guy. I'm sure you make a great cereal, but I like my hair the way it is. I don't get up in time to eat breakfast anyway.
Rebecca Flannery: Rick, what are you saying?
Rick Vaughn: You're a great gal, Flannery. Much too good for me. Take a hike.
Valet: Mr. Vaughn, I thought you were starting tonight.
Rick Vaughn: I did.
Valet: Oh, sorry. I didn't tune in until the 2nd inning.
Lou Brown: How can you sell my best player without asking me?
Roger Dorn: I'm on my ass, tapped out. I'm even going to be able to make next month's payroll.
Lou Brown: Geez.
Roger Dorn: But I didn't sell Parkman outright. I got you an outfielder. He used to play for the Giants.
Lou Brown: Franklin?
Roger Dorn: Not those Giants.
Lou Brown: OK, we won a game yesterday. If we win today, it's called "two in a row." And if we win again tomorrow, it's called a "winning streak " It has happened before.
Rube Baker: Mr. Parkman, you're a great ballplayer and I just like to say, your standing on the tracks and the train's coming through, butthead.
Jake Taylor: Rube, you look at Playboy all the time, don't you?
Rube Baker: I don't just look at it. I read the articles.
Jake Taylor: Sure you do.
Rube Baker: I do. I especially like it when they mention the girls' interests, like Betsy loves surfing.
Jake Taylor: You even memorize them?
Rube Baker: Yep. I guess I do.
Jake Taylor: Bingo.
Rube Baker: They're going to send me back to Omaha and I don't even live there.