Homer Simpson: Marge, in every marriage you get one chance to say, "I need you to do this with me." And there's only one answer when somebody says that.
Marge Simpson: OK Homie, I'm with ya.
Homer: Thank you my sweetheart.
Bart Simpson: Mom?
Marge: Yes honey?
Bart: You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertiliser salesman!
Homer: I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!
Cheif Wiggums: Sorry, no dumping in the lake.
Fat Tony: Fine. I'll just take my yard trimmings into a car compacter. [Walks away.]
Eddie: Sir, I think there was a dead body in there.
Cheif Wiggums: Yeah, I thought that too, until he said 'yard trimmings'. You gotta learn to listen.
EPA official: Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.
Russ Cargill: Of course I have! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you.
Tom Hanks: Hi, I'm Tom Hanks. The government lost its credibility and is borrowing some of mine.
Marge: What's the point of going to church every Sunday if someone we love has a genuine religious experience we ignore it? Right Grandpa?
Grandpa: I want bananas on my waffles!
Homer: I can't believe we're paying for something we can see on TV for free.
Eddie: Hey kid, I know no one likes to wear clothes in public, but you know, it's the law.
Flanders: Would you look at that. You can see the four borders of Springfield; Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.