Howard: Aww, poor baby.
Ted Maltin: Howard, I'm of the mind set you can never do too much to make a child's Christmas magical.
Turbo Man: It's Turbo time.
Myron Larabee: Ta-ta, Turtleman.
Howard: Put that cookie down. NOW.
Howard Langston: He got two! He got two.
Ted Maltin: I've got a Turbo Man for Johnny months ago. It's nestled safely under our tree.
Mall Santa: We're not just doing this for us. We're doing it for the kids. For every kid who ever sat on Santa's lap. For every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night. For every little boy who opens a package Christmas morning and finds clothes instead of toys. It breaks my heart.
Jamie: I want the Turbo Man action figure with the arms and legs that move and the boomerang shooter and his rock'n roller jet pack and the realistic voice activator that says 5 different phrases including, "It's Turbo time!" Accessories sold separately. Batteries not included.
Myron Larabee: We get one day a year to prove we're not screw-ups and what do we do? We screw it up.
Howard Langston: I gotta tell you, Santa, there's something about this place that doesn't seem quite... Kosher.
Mall Santa: Kosher? This coming from a guy who assaulted a toddler for a super ball?
Myron Larabee: How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole: "Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off.
Huge Santa: I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.