Sam: So, were you the bitch or were you the butch?
Gray: My girlfriends and I used to have a rule that we wouldn't sleep with a guy until we knew his mother's maiden name.
Gray: I love natural disasters. I want people to die in them. I am genuinely disappointed when the death toll is low.
Maureen Monette: I'm really, really so sorry about all this. You could've just loved him, and missed him, and never known.
Gray: Him. Never known him. You know I just remembered something recently. About a year ago he and I spent a day on the river. He fished and I read. It was one of those perfect days. We were on our way home and he said he had something to tell me. I said "Is it going to make me happier or less happy?" He said "Less happy." I said... "Then don't tell me."
Gray: She's effin' p.o.'ed.
Sam: Look at you, rockin' the Foreman at 3 in the morning.
Maureen Monette: What the h-e-double-l is she talking about?
Caterer: Sock it to me.