Andrew: I will not have my ex-wife... future ex-wife talked about like that.
Sarah: I'm disappointed in you. You used to be so romantic.
Andrew: Yeah, well now I'm rheumatic.
Peter: And you know, when you think about it, that's exactly what happens to us when we're born. We're dropped down a random chimney and we have to get on with the strangers we find there. Typical Chesterton there to describe a chimney as a kind of uterus.
Carol: Do you have any Equal?
Peter: I'm sorry, I'm famous for having no equal.
Sarah: It could have been worse.
Andrew: Yes, Sarah. It could have been worse. They could have attached electrodes to our genitals.
Peter: It's not going exactly as I planned.
Maggie: Your overreaction, though understandable, is an overreaction.
Sarah: You'll probably be stuck with that Joan Collins impersonator for the rest of your life.
Andrew: You're talking about the woman I almost love.
Sarah: God, I've never seen anyone wear more makeup! How does she take it off? With a chisel?
Peter: Oh, how can I put this delicately? It's just that I'm not really in the vagina business.
Carol: You know what I hate the most about being a public figure?
Carol: The public.
Carol: Thank you very much for dinner, Peter. I enjoyed watching it.
Andrew: I think adults are just children who owe money.
Andrew: It's shit with a capital "sh."
Peter: I believe I am what is commonly termed bisexual, which is by the by because actually I no longer sleep with men or women. But if I did, I promise you, you'd be right up there on my wish list, together with Michelle Pfeiffer and... River Phoenix.
Peter: I can think of no finer, fluffier, shinier people to see in the new year with than with your good selves.
Roger: Ben, please. Play with the tractor that cost Daddy £40, not the box it came in.