Happy Gilmore
Movie Quote Quiz

Happy Gilmore: I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.

Orderly: All right, turn your hearing aids up. I got great news. We're extending arts and crafts by 4 hours today.
Elderly lady: My fingers hurt.
Orderly: What's that?
Elderly lady: My fingers hurt.
Orderly: Oh, well now your back's gonna hurt, cuz you just pulled landscaping duty. Anyone else's fingers hurt? Didn't think so.

Happy Gillmore: You're gonna die, clown!

Terry: All you ever talk about is becoming a pro hockey player, but there's a problem: you're not any good.
Happy Gilmore: I am good. You know what, you're a lousy kindergarten teacher. I've seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they SUCK.

Chubbs: Spoken like a true asshole.

Grandma: How's that nice girlfriend of yours?
Happy Gilmore: Oh, she got hit by a car. She's dead.

Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.
Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. You're in my world now, grandma.

Shooter McGavin: Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say.
Happy Gilmore: Yeah, why don't I go eat some hay. I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say?

Announcer: What a shot by Happy Gilmore! Who the hell is Happy Gilmore?

Happy Gilmore: Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Announcer: Quite a large and economically diverse crowd here at the Michelob Invitational. I guess it's the new tour sensation Happy Gilmore who's attracting all sorts of people to this beautiful course.

Chubbs: It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips.
Happy Gilmore: Get off me!
Chubbs: Just easin' the tension, baby. Just easin' the tension!
Happy Gilmore: Yeah, well ease it on someone else.

Happy Gilmore: Looks like a slight hill. Whaddya think?
Otto: And a slant to the left.
Happy Gilmore: Nah, it looks that way cause you've only got one shoe on.

Virginia: What's this I hear about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?
Happy Gilmore: What? I didn't *break* it, I was just testing its durability, and then I *placed* it in the woods because it's made of wood and I just thought he should be with his family.

Chubbs: They said I would be the next Arnold Palmer.
Happy: So what happened?
Chubbs: They wouldn't let me on the pro tour anymore.
Happy: Oh I'm sorry, because you're black?
Chubbs: Hell no. Damn alligator bit my hand off!
Happy: Oh my God!

Happy Gilmore: But she's an old lady. I mean, look at her. She's old. You can't just take her stuff. She's too old.
IRS Agent: I'm sorry, I have no discretion. Her stuff is now our stuff.

Continuity mistake: In the final round, when Happy and Shooter McGavin are about to tee off on the first hole, they show a picture of the 18th green with the Volkswagen Beetle already crashed into the TV tower. However, this doesn't happen until Happy gets hit by the car later in the game. (01:09:25)

More mistakes in Happy Gilmore

Trivia: Bob Barker got paid more for his little bit in the movie than Virginia did for the whole thing.

More trivia for Happy Gilmore

Question: In the movie, when you see Happy's dream (happy place) for the second time, you see Shooter "eat" Grandma's tongue, however, in the TV version, that part is cut out, why? There's nothing bad about that part.

Answer: Maybe not to you but to a lot of people a scene in which Shooter graphically makes out with a elderly woman is a little disturbing, not something to be broadcast for children to see.

Nick N.

Answer: I tried to find if a specific reason was given, but couldn't. However, movie studios provide the edited version of films for television and airlines. Removing this scene (or this scene and whatever else was cut) probably would have given "Happy Gilmore" an MPAA rating of "PG", making it more suitable to broadcast. (Of course, this is 90's MPAA standards, and if "Happy Gilmore" was released today, it might get a "PG" rating and not "PG-13.) Additionally, scenes are also cut for time, so the version that was broadcast might have been for time and not content. Studios will also include deleted scenes (often not available on home release versions) into the broadcast version to ensure the film is long enough if too many scenes have to be cut.

Bishop73

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