Det. Bill Stork: What is it boy? Truck! Trouble at the mill! Is the barn on fire? The barn's on fire! The well! Timmy's stuck in the well.
The Wolf: As God is my witness, you will learn to speak.
Tommy: I know about houses. L built mine out of straw. I'm not an idiot.
The Woodsman: I had always heard about call backs. But, I had never gotten one.
Red: What big ears you have.
The Wolf: All the better to hear your many criticisms.
Nicky Flippers: So! Mr. Wolf... May I call you Wolf?
The Wolf: You can call me Sheila. I like long walks and fresh flowers.
Chief Grizzly: Quit playing around, Wolf! You're looking at 3 to 5 in an old shoe with no windows, SO start singin'.
The Wolf: You know, I'm front page material now. I'm about to crack a story about the 3 pigs running a home improvement scam. Houses falling left and right.
Twitchy: I've got the wide angle lens for those piggies. You gotta go wide.
Boingo: Oh, you'd best be fearing the ear baby.
The Wolf: I knew it! Never trust a bunny.
Twitchy: Never trust a bunny.
Woolworth: Little Red? Processing... yes, I know her. Good kid. Not like that Bo Peep. Girl put up an invisible fence, tasted metal fillings for a week.
The Wolf: I'm allergic to yodeling.
Nicky Flippers: What do you do for a living, Mr. Wolf?
The Wolf: I'm a shepherd.
Granny: It's true, I'm not like other grannies. I never did like the quilting bees and the bingo parlors. I'd rather live life to the extreme.
Nicky Flippers: And bring in a police sketch artist. No, make it a cartoonist.
Chief Grizzly: Am I gonna get to put the cuffs on someone or what?
Nicky Flippers: Ah, remember Ted, pieces of the puzzle make funny shapes, but they still fit together in the end.
Chief Grizzly: Boy, you're just full o' those, aren'tcha?
Nicky Flippers: Well! Someone hibernated on the wrong side of the cave.
The Wolf: That was quite a bit of fallin' you did just now.
Chief Grizzly: This looks pretty open and shut. Little miss rosy-capes making covert deliveries to the goodie-tycoon. Wolfie tries to eat 'em both, then crazy flannel-pants with the axe here busts in, swinging vigilante-style. Take 'em downtown boys.
Det. Bill Stork: Ah, it's the woods chief, we don't have a downtown.
Chief Grizzly: You know what I mean! Just book'em.