News Reader in 2017: Michael Jackson, the first man to clone himself is now suing himself for molesting himself.
Michael Newman: Twinkie. Don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Good job.
Michael Newman: Thank you, Mom for having me, I know it was a lot of pain.
Trudy: You have no idea.
Michael Newman: Yes! Look at me. All showered and dressed and looking sexy. I like that. I.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: Did you smoke crack, Daddy?
Morty: Think about it, you've skipped a year. That's a lot of sex. That's like, thirty minutes worth for you.
Michael Newman: Samantha, is that you? When did you get boobs?
Samantha at 14 Years Old: Same time you did, Dad.
Morty: I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology that we have in this place.
Michael Newman: Sounds sweet.
Morty: It is sweet. The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.
Michael Newman: Ooh. I guess the O'Doyles' remote can kiss my advanced-technological ass then.
Morty: I don't know the O'Doyles, but... they can bite it hard.
Michael Newman: It took that son of a bitch a whole year to promote me?