Sheriff John Wydell: Fuck Groucho.
Adam Banjo: Please, mister. This is insane.
Otis B. Driftwood: Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.
Adam Banjo: Where are you taking us?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well I guess it wouldn't do no harm to tell you none, let's see ah, we're going to go dig up some guns I buried out here a couple of years ago.
Roy Sullivan: Then what?
Otis B. Driftwood: Well there ain't no what, that's the end of the road.
Roy Sullivan: What?.. your'e not gonna kill us are ya?
Otis B. Driftwood: Killing sounds so permanent.
Clevon: Did you hear what he called me, Boss? I ain't no chicken fucker.
Officer Ray Dobson: You recognize the clown?
Sheriff John Wydell: Yeah, his name is Spaulding. Captain 'fuckin' Spaulding.
Baby: I love famous people! They're even better than the real thing, ya know?
Captain J.T. Spaulding: Where the hell you goin'? Damn it. Don't you never turn your back on a fuckin' clown when he's talkin' to you.
Otis B. Driftwood: I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Baby: You better make this next one fucking count.
Otis B. Driftwood: Gimme some sugar, bitch. Make it sweet.
Otis B. Driftwood: There is no fuckin' ice cream in your fuckin' future.
Otis B. Driftwood: I think I can still smell your wife's pussy stink on my gun... hope it doesn't rust the barrel.
Captain J.T. Spaulding: You ain't goin' nowhere, Bitch.
Otis B. Driftwood: That's what they all say "Fuck you", well it ain't gonna save you. It don't scare me none and it don't suddenly make you a fucking hero.
Sheriff John Wydell: From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. Hallelujah! Are you feeling it brother?
Baby: Woo hoo! I feel like we're all really getting to know each other now.
Otis: I know what I know and I know I don't like that nut sack.
Adam Banjo: Please... Stop.
Otis B. Driftwood: Stop? Bitch, I have just started.