Jamesir Bensonmum: She murdered herself in her sleep, sir.
Dick Charleston: You mean suicide?
Jamesir Bensonmum: Oh no, it was murder, all right. Mrs. Twain hated herself.
Tess Skeffington: He was arrested in 1932 in Chicago for selling pornographic Bibles. The D.A. couldn't make the charge stick when the church refused to turn over the Bibles.
Lionel Twain: How do I look so young? Quite simple. A complete vegetable diet, twelve hours sleep a night, and lots and lots of makeup.
Sam Diamond: I never did nothin' to a man that I wouldn't do to a woman.
Milo Perrier: No, no, it's all right. My wine is not poisoned. It was just a bad year.
Jamesir Bensonmum: Tell me, as the only survivor, how did you deduce it was me?
Sidney Wang: Went back to theory seldom used today: Butler did it.
Sam Diamond: You say you know who's going to get it?
Lionel Twain: Intimately.
Inspector Milo Perrier: And you know how the crime is to be committed?
Lionel Twain: Definitely.
Sidney Wang: And exactly what time murder to take place?
Lionel Twain: The murder. Precisely.
Dora Charleston: Well, I know it's none of my business, but doesn't that mean that you're the murderer, Mr. Twain?
Willie Wang: Why do I do all the dirty work, Pop?
Sidney Wang: 'Cause your mother not here to do it.
Marcel: Something isn't right in all of this, eh. I can feel it in my buns.
Inspector Milo Perrier: Your what?
Marcel: My buns.
Inspector Milo Perrier: Buns? Your buns? You bought buns and you didn't tell me? Where are they? Where are the buns?
Marcel: Oh! No, monsieur. The bones in my body.
Inspector Milo Perrier: You should not speak with an accent when you know I am so hungry.
Sidney Wang: Big house like man married to fat woman: hard to get around.
Dick Charleston: How lovely dear! We're in Wang's wing.
Jessica Marbles: I smell gas.
Miss Withers: I can't help it, I'm old.
Jessica Marbles: No, not that kind of gas. The kind that kills.
Miss Withers: Well, sometimes my gas.
Sidney Wang: Answer simple, but question very hard.
Sam Diamond: I don't get it. First they steal the body and leave the clothes, then they take the clothes and bring the body back. Who would do a thing like that?
Dick Charleston: Possibly some deranged dry cleaner.