Spike: Set phasers to... Torture.
Helen Knable: Dynamite. He's going to hit me with a train and blow me up? ROY.
Voice over on one of the hvtv channels: And now the all-new mini-series about the French Revolution... Off With His Head, the story of the Marquis de Knable, an enemy of the people, who tries to escape the guillotine by wearing a disguise. It's an epic drama of love, danger, and cross-dressing.
French Soldier: I would have given you chocolates.
Spike: Ew, you're the ugliest bitch in perdition - but you've given me a beautiful idea.
Crowley: Nice disguise. Interesting concept. Diagonal boobs. Could you fix that thing?
Wrestling Referee: O.K. everything goes - maim, murder each other, I don't care, but keep it clean. Okay, go to your corners, and when the bell rings, kill or be killed.
Roy Knable: Holy Shatner.
Voice over on one of the hvtv channels: The next item we have for you on the Home Shoplifting Channel.
TV Announcer: How did James Dean really die? Find out tonight on Autopsies Of The Rich And Famous.