Jason Slocumb: You see it, Igby? I feel this great, great pressure coming down on me. It's constantly coming down on me. It's crushing me.
Bunny: Igby, I could just eat you with a spoon.
Igby: She's a dancer who doesn't dance and her friend is a painter who doesn't paint. It's kind of a Boho version of the Island of the Lost Toys.
Hockey Player: My ball, cunt-face.
Oliver: So we started calling him Igby whenever he lied. And he lied a lot.
Igby: Well, I guess DH told you.
Igby: Well, we've decided to bump all those incredibly prominent and terribly chic persons that you were expecting to speak at your memorial and, well, have me speak for two hours or so.
Mimi: What a clever idea. You do understand though, don't you, that it is customary in a eulogy to at least make reference to the deceased?
Igby: I intend to, Mother... time permitting.
Sookie: My parents were two very idealistic, incredibly bright, narcissists. I was like their vanity project.
D.H. Banes: Mimi. GET OFF THE maid.
Russell: Anne Frank. Anne Frank. The soldiers are gone. Come out and play.
Igby: You know just because you're dying, I'm not going to apologize. Not for anything that I've ever done.
Mimi: I take it you know that D.H. is your father?
Mimi: Then I'm really glad I told you.