Bearnaise: I don't like your cuffs... I don't like your cuffs! I don't like your cuffs! A man's cuffs should be even with the tip of his 'pee-pee'. Yours are all the way down to your balls.
Count de Monet: At least I have them.
Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: Gladiator.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you kill last week?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: No.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you try to kill last week?
Gladiator - The Roman Empire: Yeah.
Dole Office Clerk: Now, listen, this is your last week of unemployment insurance. Either you kill somebody next week or we're going to have to change your status, got it?
Jew #1: I was sittin' flickin' chickens / And I'm looking through the pickins' / When suddenly these goys break down my walls / I didn't even know them / And they grab me by the scrotum / And they started playing ping-pong with my balls / Oy the agony / Oh the shame / To make your privates public for a game.
Mademoiselle Rimbaud: Your Majesty! I was raised in a convent. I don't indulge in pleasures of the flesh.
King Louis XVI: You don't put out, he don't get out.
Mademoiselle Rimbaud: Your Majesty, I simply don't do it.
King Louis XVI: Come on, you do it. You love to do it. We all do it. You do it.
Mademoiselle Rimbaud: No, I don't.
King Louis XVI: I do it, I love to do it. I just did it and I'm ready to do it again, don't tell me you don't do it.
Insolent Flunky: Count Da Money.
Count de Monet: De Monet! Say it... Mo - nay! Say it with me, Mo - nay.
Jew #2: I was sitting in a temple / I was minding my own business / I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass / Then these papist persons plunge in / And they throw me in the dungeon / And they shove a red-hot poker up my ass / Is that considerate? / Is that polite? / And not a tube of Preparation-H in sight.