The Odd Couple

The Odd Couple (1968)

28 quotes

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Movie Quote Quiz

Felix Ungar: I put order in this house. For the first time in months, you're saving money. You're sleeping on clean sheets. You're eating hot meals for a change and I did it.
Oscar Madison: Yes, that's right. And then at night after we've had your halibut steak and your tartar sauce, I have to spend the rest of the evening watching you Saran Wrap the leftovers.

Gwendolyn Pigeon: I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.
Felix Ungar: Felix.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Oh, right, Felix.
Cecily Pigeon: Like the cat.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Oh, well, the Pigeon sisters had better beware of the cat.

Oscar Madison: You can't spend the rest of your life crying. It annoys people in the movies.

Murray: What happened to the apartment?
Oscar Madison: It's been given the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

Oscar Madison: Don't come to me with your petty problems. You get this one stinkin' night a week. I'm cooped up here with Mary Poppins 24 hours a day.

Felix Ungar: I think I'm crazy.
Oscar Madison: If it makes you feel any better, I think so too.

Oscar Madison: Why doesn't he hear me? I know I'm talking. I recognize my voice.

Oscar Madison: Felix, I'd like you to meet two elevator acquaintances of mine. Gwendolyn and Cecily.
Cecily Pigeon: No, Cecily and Gwendolyn.
Oscar Madison: Oh, Terribly sorry, Cecily and Gwendolyn. Eh, don't tell me. Eh, Robin? No, Cardinal?
Gwendolyn Pigeon: No, Wrong both times, It's Pigeon.
Oscar Madison: Cecily and Gwendolyn Pigeon, The Pigeon sisters.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Or as our friends at Chelsea use to call us, the Cuckoo Pigeon sisters.

Oscar Madison: I know him. He'll kill himself just to spite me. Then his ghost will come back, following me around the apartment, haunting and cleaning, haunting and cleaning, haunting and cleaning.

Felix Ungar: I'm a neurotic nut, but you're crazy.

Oscar Madison: Don't threaten me with jail, Blanche, because it's not a threat. With my expenses and my alimony, a prisoner takes home more pay than I do.

Oscar Madison: I can't take it anymore, Felix, I'm cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you're not here, the things I know you're gonna do when you come in irritate me. You leave me little notes on my pillow. Told you 158 times I can't stand little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of cornflakes. F.U." Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Ungar.

Oscar Madison: Murray, I'll give you $200 for your gun.

Felix Ungar: I'll be in the way.
Gwendolyn Pigeon: How could you possibly be in anyone's way?
Oscar Madison: You want to see a typewritten list?
Gwendolyn Pigeon: Oh, haven't you said enough already?

Felix Ungar: Walk on the paper, will you? I washed the floor in there.

Oscar Madison: You did a great job, Felix. One little suggestion: let's come down a little bit with the lights, and up very softly with the music, huh? Hey, do you think Mozart goes good with meatloaf?

Oscar Madison: Don't point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.

Oscar Madison: Wait a minute, you're not going anywhere until you take it back.
Felix Ungar: Take what back?
Oscar Madison: "Let it be on your head." What the hell is that, the Curse of the Cat People?

Murray: A whole bottle of pills! My God, get an ambulance.
Oscar Madison: Wait a minute, will ya? We don't even know what kind.
Murray: What difference does it make? He took a whole bottle.
Oscar Madison: Well, maybe they were vitamins! He could be the healthiest one in the room.

Murray: Hey, did you know Felix was once locked in a john overnight? He wrote out his entire will on half a roll of toilet paper. What a nut.

Other mistake: In the scene where Walther Matthau is making sandwiches for his poker pals (during the movie's first poker game), Matthau drops a loaf of bread on the kitchen floor. If you look at his hand, you'll see that he flicks his thumb to make the loaf of bread fall.

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