Walter Curnow: I feel so stupid. How do you say, 'stupid'?
Maxim Brajlovsky: Durak.
Walter Curnow: That's me.
Maxim Brajlovsky: You shouldn't feel like that. The same thing happened to me the first time I did this.
Walter Curnow: When have you ever done this before?
Maxim Brajlovsky: Never.
Victor Milson: 'Course, there's one good thing about a reactionary President, he's not into health foods. Last one, we didn't have lunch, we grazed.
Caroline Floyd: I want to be grown-up and understanding about all this, I really do... I try so hard, but I can't. This won't bring those men back. You've been killing yourself over something you did, or something you didn't do right, and now you're looking for absolution... You know, you could get yourself killed.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I'll be scared enough for both of us.
Dave Bowman: You see, something's going to happen. You must leave.
Heywood Floyd: What? What's going to happen?
Dave Bowman: Something wonderful.
Heywood Floyd: What?
Dave Bowman: I understand how you feel. You see, it's all very clear to me now. The whole thing. It's wonderful.
Tanya Kirbuk: You have been drinking your whiskey from Kentucky.
SAL-9000: Will I dream?
Dr. Chandra: Of course you will. All intelligent beings dream. Nobody knows why. Perhaps you will dream of HAL... just as I often do.
Maxim Brajlovsky: Easy as cake, huh?
Walter Curnow: Pie. Easy as pie.
Dimitri Moisevitch: I want to play a game with you, Dr. Floyd.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I don't have time for games.
Dimitri Moisevitch: This is a good game. It's called "The Truth." For two minutes, I will tell only the truth, and so will you.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Two minutes?
Dimitri Moisevitch: Two minutes.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Make it a minute and a half.
Dimitri Moisevitch: One minute and three quarters.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: You start.
Heywood Floyd: I'd love a hot dog.
Walter Curnow: Astrodome. Good hot dogs there.
Heywood Floyd: Astrodome? You can't grow a good hot dog indoors. Yankee Stadium. September. The hot dogs have been boiling since opening day in April. Now that's a hot dog.
Walter Curnow: The yellow mustard or the darker kind?
Heywood Floyd: The darker kind.
Walter Curnow: Very important.
Victor Milson: I didn't want your job, you know. I'm not the one who forced you out. I didn't blame the whole thing on you. So if this is your plan to try and get me killed, you got the wrong guy.
Victor Milson: You've checked this? Please say you haven't... You aren't saying anything, Floyd.
Walter Curnow: It's shrinking! It's shrinking!.
Victor Milson: So, here we are on your actual brink. My agency's going to become a part of the military, I've got a president with his finger poised on the button, and you want me to walk across the park and tell him we want to hitch a ride with those very same Russians. Have I missed anything?
Heywood Floyd: That's about it.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I do seem to remember a process where you people ask me questions and I give you answers, and then I ask you questions and you give me answers, and that's the way we find out things. I think I read that in a manual somewhere.
HAL 9000: I'm completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.
Heywood Floyd: My response is, we don't have enough fuel for an earlier departure.
HAL 9000: The answer is, "I am aware of these facts. Nevertheless you must leave within two days."
Heywood Floyd: HAL, who the hell is sending this?
HAL 9000: I'm sorry, Dr. Floyd, I don't know.
Heywood Floyd: Well, tell whoever it is that I can't take any of this seriously unless I know who I'm talking to.
HAL 9000: Dr. Floyd?
Heywood Floyd: Yes?
HAL 9000: The response is, "I was David Bowman."
HAL-9000: Dr. Chandra, will I dream?
Dr. Chandra: I don't know.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I don't know if HAL is homicidal, suicidal, neurotic, psychotic, or just plain broken.