Beaver Breath: You have no right to be here. This Apache land.
Will Patch: And what you gonna do about it, beaver breath?
Beaver Breath: How he know my name?
Frank Stockburn: Boy, you got your mom's muscles. You a prizefighter?
Chico: No, actually, I'm a... piano player.
Ramon: My mother's Swedish.
Tommy aka White Knife: I don't think so. I reckon she's Mexican.
Ramon: Lying bitch.
Never Wears Bra: You lucky, Smoking Fox. White Knife all man. Bravest of all braves.
Smoking Fox: Not brave. Foolish. I want to be wife, not widow.
Danny: That is some mystical shit.
Tommy aka White Knife: I'm in a bit of a bind, boys. I rode all the way out here to pan for gold and my horse up and died on me.
Rifleman: How'd he die?
Tommy aka White Knife: Suicide. Drowned himself. Put his head in the stream and just kept it there. Saddest thing you ever seen.
Wyatt Earp: What's shakin' Twain?
Mark Twain: Hey, I'm good on anything. Just like gravy, baby. Good to see you my man.
Wyatt Earp: You too, man.
Wyatt Earp: Hey, I finally read Prince and the Pauper.
Mark Twain: Oh, is that right?
Wyatt Earp: Didn't get it.
Mark Twain: For reals?
Wyatt Earp: Satire! Boom! I got ya.
Danny: I did a real stupid thing that inadvertently led to the death of a United States president, I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.
Frank Stockburn: Well son, look at my eyes... Shit happens.
Danny: Yeah. Thanks. Thank you, sir.