Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: You hit like a girl.
Nicholas Yuleson: You kiss like a guy.
Santa Claus: I'm Santa Claus, not fuckin' Dracula.
Nicholas Yuleson: Great. He'll never find us now.
Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: Shut your hole and help me through this window.
Santa Claus: Christmas is over when I say it's over.
Nicholas Yuleson: The clock just struck midnight at the pole. Christmas is officially over for you, Santa.
Santa Claus: You know, most people make the same mistake. The correct time at the pole is completely discretionary, because the poles are where all the time zones actually converge.
Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: He's scary, but educational.
Santa Claus: Looks like Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.
Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: Wicked, your grandfather's an angel. Told you he'd look after you.
Nicholas Yuleson: I swear i'll never take the lord's name in vain again.
Grandpa: You're forgiven Nicholas.