Elsie: I could never make a good pot roast.
Saul: You need good beef. Argentina has great beef: beef, and Nazis.
Joe Jr: Hey Pop. Can I give that bottle of Blue Nun you got from Cousin Ornello to my probation officer?
Saul: I couldn't love you any more if you were my own son. But the fact of the matter is, you're... well you're a putz.
Peter: Is there a point to this?
Mr. Fusco: "Nature of claim: Christmas tree through window." How am I gonna put that on my insurance claim? They're still pissed about the fire we had when Joe Jr. barbecued in the stairwell.
Lucy: I missed that.
Mr. Fusco: Great sausage.
Lucy: Listen, I'll pay for this.
Mr. Fusco: Don't worry about it, my brother Giuli's in the glass business.
Ox Callahan: Jesus Christ, Jack, you're running the business.
Jack: That's something I'd like to talk to you about.
Midge Callaghan: Talk about that later ok?
Mary Callaghan: Talk about it now, he can't kill you in church.
Ashley: Peter Callahan is engaged to me. I object to this wedding.
Priest: Get in line.
Ashley's husband: And I object to your objection.
Mary Callaghan: Who's that?
Peter: Ashley's husband.
Midge Callaghan: You proposed to a married woman?
Peter: Yes. And I'm in a coma when my brother makes a play for my - sort of my fiancée.
Joe Jr.: O.K., Lucy, it's either me or him.
Joe Jr.: You don't have to answer right away.
Man at Church: Will you please pipe down?
Ox Callahan: Hey, be nice pal-ly, we're in Church.
Man at Church: You're disrupting the Mass.
Ox Callahan: Who made you the Pope?
Saul: Did you know I'm Peter's godfather?
Lucy: Really? I thought you had to be catholic for that.
Saul: Ox fudged it over. He donated 50 folding chairs to Father O'Shea's bingo night.
Midge Callaghan: These potatoes are so creamy. Mary mashed them.
Saul: So, do you have any family?
Lucy: My mom died when I was really little and a couple of years ago my dad got sick so we moved from Indiana so he could go to research hospital.
Saul: Research. Another word for very expensive.
Lucy: Yeah, I had to quit school and I started working for the CTA and about a year ago he decided he had had enough research and he passed away.
Lucy: If you fit into my pants I will kill myself.