Darcy McGuire: I'm the man-eating bitch Darth Vader of the ad world.
Alex: My dad? He's always been... like an uncle to me. Yeah, Uncle Dad.
Morgan: What, are you officially a woman now?
Nick Marshall: I wish.
Nick Marshall: Buns of steel... I'd steal her buns if I could.
Alex: Oh please, Mom had this talk with me when I was like, 11.
J.M. Perkins: If you know what women want, you can rule.
Nick Marshall: There's way too much estrogen on television these days.
Lola: You talk to me like a woman, you think like a woman. Nick, come on, admit it. You're totally and completely gay.