Prisoner: Long Live Stalin!
Soldier: Stalin's Dead! Malenkov's in charge!
Prisoner: Long live Malenk...[shot].
Nikita Khrushchev: I will bury you in history.
Kaganovich: Out of my way you fannies.
Lavrentiy Beria: Shoot her before him, but make sure he sees it, shoot him, take him to his church and dump him in the pulpit, the rest I leave up to you.
Georgy Malenkov: Nod as I'm speaking to you. People are looking to me for reassurance and I have no idea what's going on.
Guard 1: Should we investigate...?
Guard 2: Should you shut the fuck up before you get us both killed?
Vasily Stalin: I want to make a speech at my father's funeral.
Nikita Khrushchev: And I want to fuck Grace Kelly.
Georgy Zhukov: I'm going to have to report this conversation, threatening to do harm or obstruct any member of the Presidium in the process of...[bursts out laughing] Look at your fucking face.
Vasily Stalin: I know the drill. Smile, shake hands and try not to call them cunts.
Nikita Khrushchev: When you go home, make sure your wife writes down everything you think you said tonight. Alright? This way, in the morning you know what you're dealing with. It's Krushchev's law.
[Beria gets shot in the head].
Georgy Zhukov: Well that's got it done. Come on, have a look. Everybody happy? Proper dead?
Nikita Khrushchev: If he recovers, then we got a good doctor. If he doesn't recover, then we didn't. But he won't know.
Georgy Zhukov: Tell me something. Why has the army been replaced by the NKVD all over Moscow? I mean, I'm smiling, but I am very fucking furious.
Nikita Khrushchev: Can we stop twittering like fishwives?
Svetlana Stalin: He's not bad, he's just ill.
Vyacheslav Molotov: If nobody objects, I'm going to spend a kopek.
Soldier: We found her! She's grown a bit since the photograph...
Georgy Malenkov: She's the size of an ostrich. No.