Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!
Michael Jordan: What can you do?
Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.
Sylvester: And large.
Daffy Duck: And a dork.
Bill Murray: Larry, I'm gonna give us both twos back there. We weren't in any emotional state to putt.
Michael Jordan: What's going on here?
Bugs Bunny: Eh, I thought you'd never ask. You see, these aliens come from outer space and they want to make us slaves in their theme park. Eh, what do we care? They're little, so we challenge them to a basketball game. But, then they show up and they aint so little. They HUGE! We need to beat these guys. Cause we're talking about slavery. They're gonna make us do stand-up comedy. The same jokes every night for all eternity. We're gonna be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to perform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, fat-headed, humor challenged aliens. Eh, what I'm trying to say is: WE NEED YOUR HEEEEEEEEELP!
Daffy Duck: How's this for our team name: The Ducks!
Bugs Bunny: Please, what kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name their team "The Ducks"?
Daffy Duck: So sue me, it's just a suggestion.
Woman Fan: This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.
Bugs Bunny: You know those mugs and T-shirts and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em?
Daffy Duck: Yeah?
Bugs Bunny: You ever see any money from all that stuff?
Daffy Duck: Not a cent. We gotta get new agents, we're getting screwed.
Michael Jordan: Bugs Bunny?
Bugs Bunny: Eh, you were expecting maybe the Easter Bunny?
Nerdluck Pound: You ever heard of the Dream Team? Well, we're the Mean Team, wussy man.
Daffy: Just how did you get here, anyway?
Bill Murray: Producer's a friend of mine. He sent a Teamster to drop me off.
Daffy: Aha. Well, that's the way it goes.
Tweety Bird: Feed me! Feed me!
Sylvester: Feed you? Feed me!
Bill Murray: It's 'cause I'm white, isn't it?
Michael Jordan: No. Larry's white, so what?
Bill Murray: Larry's not white. Larry's clear.
Daffy Duck: Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys.
Daffy Duck: We've got to get a new agent. We're getting screwed!
Michael Jordan: I'm a baseball player now.
Bugs Bunny: Right, and I'm a Shakespearean actor.
Baseball player: I mean you look when you strike out, man. When I strike out, man, it looks nasty, man.