Martin: Has anyone ever told you you're a bit of an idiot?
Chris: I'm a politician, that's all they ever tell me.
JJ: You see... Jess needs to feel important... Maureen, she needs to feel... loved. And you, you just need to grow a brain. See... you can solve your problems. But me... I can't.
Jess: You're getting a thrill out of this, aren't you, you pervert! Oh my God, you're Martin Sharp! You are a pervert.
Martin: I underestimated how much they hate me.
Jess: JJ, I'm a professional liar, you're not even a competent one.
Martin: You know how I feel when I wake up in the morning? Humiliated. How do I feel at lunch time? Humiliated. My life flows in a steady stream of humiliation. I'm not sad, not angry, just humiliated.
Martin: We belong together, we're a team I mean we're the worst team the world has ever know and if I were picking none of you would have made it to the subs bench but still.
Martin: I wasn't aware this was a competition.