Best comedy movie quotes of 2012

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
Wreck-It Ralph picture

Vanellope von Schweetz: As your merciful princess I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be...executed.
Crowd of girls: What?!
Sergeant Calhoun: Well, this place just got interesting.

More Wreck-It Ralph quotes
Dark Shadows picture

Barnabas Collins: What is your age?
Carolyn Stoddard: Fifteen.
Barnabas Collins: Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those child-bearing hips to good use, lest your womb shrivel up and die.

More Dark Shadows quotes
Ice Age 4: Continental Drift picture

Peaches: So tell me, when exactly will I be allowed to hang out with boys?
Manny: When I'm dead. Plus three days, just to make sure I'm dead.

More Ice Age 4: Continental Drift quotes
Men in Black III picture

Cop 1: Well, look at this. Power windows, power seats. I bet you the thing cost 6 grand.
Agent J: Ah, yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.
Cop 2: Hey, what kind of work do you do? An individual of your... Particular ethic persuasion?
Agent J: Mmm...
Cop 1: Maybe he's a noted athlete.
Agent J: Mmmm! Yes. Starting forward for the Detroit Darkies.
Cop 1: Where'd you get the car?
Cop 2: And the suit?
Agent J: I stole them both. Uh, car from your wife, suit from your grandmother.

More Men in Black III quotes
Ted picture

Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.

More Ted quotes
Pitch Perfect picture

Aubrey: What's your name?
Fat Amy: Fat Amy.
Aubrey: You call yourself Fat Amy?
Fat Amy: Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back.

More Pitch Perfect quotes
Seven Psychopaths picture

Hans: As Gandhi said...'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'. I believe that whole heartedly.
Bill: No it doesn't. There'll be one guy left with one eye. How's the last blind guy going to take out the eye of the last guy left whose still got one eye left? All that guy has to do is run away and hide behind a bush. Ghandi was wrong. It's just that nobody's got the balls to come out and say it.

More Seven Psychopaths quotes
Silver Linings Playbook picture

Tiffany: I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?

More Silver Linings Playbook quotes
21 Jump Street picture

Schmidt: When did I get stabbed? That's AWESOME!

More 21 Jump Street quotes
Hope Springs picture

Kay: He is everything. But I'm really lonely. And to be with someone, when you're not really with him can... I think I might be less lonely alone.

More Hope Springs quotes
Hotel Transylvania picture

Jonathan: Are these monsters gonna kill me?
Dracula: Not as long as they think you're a monster.
Jonathan: That's kinda racist.

More Hotel Transylvania quotes
Brave picture

King Fergus: The ancients spoke of it. It is the heart of this fierce land. It is carried in the wind. Born of our legends and when we are put to the test, it is the one thing that we must always be.

More Brave quotes
The Five-Year Engagement picture

Alex Eilhauer: I feel like I'm drinking out of Chewbacca's dick.

More The Five-Year Engagement quotes
The Three Stooges picture

Lydia: Those three idiots are here!
Mac: The Kardashian girls? Where are they?

More The Three Stooges quotes
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted picture

Alex: What are you doing? Zebras can't drive. Only penguins and people can drive!

More Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted quotes
ParaNorman picture

Neil: So what do we do now?
Norman Babcock: Uhh... I... I - I really don't know.
Courtney: Yes you do, Norman. You've gotta get to that witch's grave.
Norman Babcock: But.
Courtney: But nothing, you listen to me, buster. We didn't turn away when Daleridge High was slaughtering our volleyball team, did we?
Norman Babcock: Yeah, we did.
Courtney: No, we didn't. I have cheered the un-cheerable, Norman. And I'm not letting you give up now.

More ParaNorman quotes
Parental Guidance picture

Artie Decker: I'm awkward around those kids. I don't think they like me.

More Parental Guidance quotes
Mirror Mirror picture

Brighton: Snow White is dead. One of God's great mysteries is his plan for each and every one of us...
The Queen: Speed it up.
Brighton: Snow White lived, she died, God rest her soul, Amen. There will be a buffet lunch served at two.

More Mirror Mirror quotes
Think Like a Man picture

Cedric: Mike, how old is your mom?
Michael: What?
Cedric: I'm not saying it like that. No, I am. I am. It's like that. Ms. Loretta, I'm ready for the rest of the tour.

More Think Like a Man quotes
Wanderlust picture

Marcy: It just doesn't fit the HBO brand. We do violence and heartache but it's sexy. Do you understand?
Linda: Of course, what was I thinking? I mean you know what we could do? We could throw in some vampires in there to have sex with the penguins, and then you could have brooding sexy little vampire penguins. Would that work for your brand? What if the polar bears were hookers and on meth and then just show their tits for no reason? How would that work?
Marcy: I think you're joking, but if you could do that that would be very interesting for us.

More Wanderlust quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.