Jay Pritchett: God knows I couldn't love them more, but even the Kennedy's didn't get together this often.
Sarah Schnieder: Guys, I think Patrick's in trouble.
Sam Reich: Patrick?
Sarah Schnieder: Are you guys serious? He's been gone for five hours and you've forgotten who he is?
Sam Reich: Are we talking Four-Eyes, Buck-Teeth?
Sarah Schnieder: No, that's Amir.
Amir Blumenfeld: Pot-Belly, Midget-Legs?
Sarah Schnieder: No, that's Sam.
Dan Gurewitch: Redhead, Taco Truck?
Sam Reich: No, Dan. That's you.
Amir Blumenfeld: Boobs-Chest, Vagina-Pants?
Sarah Schnieder: Horse-Face, Gumby-Arms!
Sam Reich: Oh, Horse-Face, Gumby-Arms! I like that guy.
Hatter: I know a thing or two about liking people, and in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, "like" turns into "what was his name again?"
Rafi: You spend all your time reading books and looking at numbers and letters like they mean something.
Ruxin: They do. Do you know how to read?
Rafi: I get by, all right?
Ruxin: What do you know?
Rafi: You know, like... red means stop.
Rafi: Green means go.
Rafi: Yellow's the other one.
Ted Crisp: Don't blame me for how I look, God made me this way, and then he told me where to shop for suits.