Michael Scott: This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here.
Barney: Suit up!
Francine: The point is, there was a time when you two weren't always fighting.
Hayley: That was before I knew dad was a gun toting maniac.
Stan: Beatnik.
Hayley: Warmonger.
Stan: Chupacabra.
Hayley: I'm the mexican Bigfoot?
Stan: You heard her. She admitted it.
Dr. Meredith Grey: At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross.
Rochelle Rock: I'm gonna slap the black off you.
Jackie: What is it that you do again?
Charlie Kelly: I'm like a janitor at - um, I'm a... full-on rapist, you know? Uh, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sorta thing.
Police officer: It's police policy not to waste resources looking for a missing person in the first 24 hours because they usually show up on their own, and after 24 hours, if they're still missing, it usually means they're dead and we don't look for them that hard then either
Clay: Orel, love gets in the way of the important things in life. Like going to sleep or being left alone.
Mr. Blick: The Kraken ate my tail.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Mr. Wuncler, I'm... sorry about the whole, you know, my grandson shooting your grandson out of the window thing. Are you mad?
Ed Wuncler: In 30 years, that boy will be the President of the United States. And he'll still be a fucking idiot. Now, are we gonna have that drink or what?
Vicky: You know, maybe we shouldn't drink while the kids live here.
Dave: Come on, Vicky, we drink because the kids live here.
Valerie Cherish: Instead of the barbeque line I could say, "If I let you have the puppies I'll have to let weird old Mr. Schmidt have a SATAN flag!" See, that's good, because everybody hates Satan.
Marni Fliss: If you have baggage, I want to know about it.
Nate Solomon: If? Have you MET me?
Danny: But I thought you had to pee.
Anne Sorelli: My anger absorbed it. Outside, now.