Romy White: Why am I the only one who sees how great I am?
'Colonel' Tom Parker: Let's face it, son. The records aren't doing what they used to and the movie aren't doing much better.
Elvis Presley: That's probably because of all this material you keep shovin' down my throat, Colonel. Hell, you can't polish a turd.
Grace Margaret Mulligan: There's nothing to be afraid of. We've taken all of the family's weapons.
Wilhelm: No. I'm afraid of what will happen now. I feel we ain't ready - for a completely new way of life. At Manderlay we slaves took supper at seven. When do people take supper when they're free? We don't know these things.
Pete Van Heuten: Yo-ho-ho, mofo.
Prince Sadir: Cale, you look me in the eye and you tell me that you think that your horse has a chance at beating my brother's horse.
Cale Crane: My horse will beat every horse that shows up.
Catherine: I feel like I could crack open, like an egg, or one of those really smelly French cheeses that ooze when you cut them.
Jeff Talley: I thought you were the man in charge. Isn't that what you told me? You said "I'm the man"?
Dennis Kelly: I am the man! I am in charge.
Bernard Berkman: She's a very risky writer, Lili. Very racy. I mean, exhibiting her cunt in that fashion is very racy. I mean Lili has her influences in post modern literature, it's a bit derivative of Kafka, but for a student, very racy. Did you get that it was her cunt?
Alex: You make sex often with American girl?
Jonathan: Not really.
Alex: What is mean by "not really?"
Jonathan: I'm not a priest, but I'm not John Holmes either.
Alex: I have heard of this John Holmes. He has premium penis.
Jonathan: Yes, he did.
Alex: Everyne in Ukraine has penis like that.
Jonathan: Even the women?
Alex: You make joke, yes?
Jonathan: Yes.
Alexsie Kutchinov: We have a saying in my country - don't blame the baker, when the butcher bakes the bread.
John Tuliver: What the hell does that mean?
Alexsie Kutchinov: It means you're fucked.
Sofia: If you have any objections, kindly go to hell.
Todd Jackson: You tell 'em.
Georges Laurent: Isn't it lonely, if you can't go out?
Georges' Mom: Why? Are you less lonely because you can sit in the garden? Do you feel less lonely in the metro than at home? Well then! Anyway, I have my family friend... with remote control. Whenever they annoy me, I just shut them up.
Eric: Nice try, loser. Oh and by the way, a naked mole rat is not cool, it's gross.
Ron: Don't be dissing the Rufus.
Emily Friehl: Don't... you'll ruin it.
Walter Abrams: I will match my dysfunctional childhood and Tony's against yours, any day of the week.
Walter Abrams: My father, five foot, arms like this... he had a cock like a Hebrew National.
Walter Abrams: I even looked at him the wrong way... he smacked across the room like Jake LaMotta.
Walter Abrams: By the time I was five, he yelled at me so much, I thought my name was Asshole.
Cece: Grandma saved souls. Murderers, sadists. The most vile men. She milked them of evil.
Eden Sinclair: What was in that suitcase, Cece?
Cece: Every soul that she ever milked was inside that suitcase. So if those snakes got set free, and they killed Ray, the evil of countless souls are inside him right now, possesing his body.
Diane Petersen: You're tearing this family apart.
Vladimir: My companion seems to be missing. I do not know what has become of him.