Best comedy movie quotes of 2005

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Movie Quote Quiz
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory picture

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to work here in the factory.
Willy Wonka: Were you one of those despicable spies who everyday tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copycat candy making cads?
Grandpa Joe: No, sir.
Willy Wonka: Then wonderful, welcome back.

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The Wedding Date picture

Nick Mercer: I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.

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Hitch picture

Hitch: I just know that I want to be... Miserable. Like, *really* miserable. But hey, if that's what it takes for me to be happy, then... Wait, that didn't come out right.

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The 40 Year Old Virgin picture

Andy: I dated this girl for a while... She was really a... Nasty freak. She just loved to... Get down with... Sex all the time. It was like... Anytime of day... She was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty! And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! Cool!"

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Diary of a Mad Black Woman picture

Helen: Orlando, what's going.
Orlando: I know you don't believe in fairy tales. But, if you did, I'd want to be your knight in shining armor. You've been through so much. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Now I may not be able to give you all that your used to. But I do know I can love you past your pain. I don't want you to worry about anything. You just wake up in the morning, that's all you have to do and I'll take it from there. There's one condition. You have to be my wife.

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Wedding Crashers picture

Gloria Cleary: Don't ever leave me!
Jeremy Grey: Ever.
Gloria Cleary: Good. 'Cause I'd find you!

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Sky High picture

Gwen Grayson: I went through puberty twice for this?!

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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang picture

Harry: Still gay?
Gay Perry: Me? No, I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much I can't get rid of it.

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy picture

Slartibartfast: Ever heard of a place... I think it's called Norway? That was one of mine. I got an award for it.

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Rumor Has It picture

Annie: I'm the most screwed-up person in the world.
Sarah: You're not even the most screwed-up person in this room.

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The Dukes of Hazzard picture

Daisy Duke: You know what's gonna happen. They're gonna get caught and get thrown in jail, then I'm gonna have to shake my ass at somebody to get them out.
Uncle Jesse: That's why we love you, honey.

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Fun with Dick and Jane picture

Dick Harper: Son of a bitch.
Jane Harper: That fucker.
Dick Harper: Hon, language.

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Roll Bounce picture

Sweetness: Let's do this, Johnny.

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Sahara picture

General Zateb Kazim: Don't worry. It's Africa. Nobody cares about Africa.

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Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit picture

[Quartermaine's hairpiece has been sucked up in the bunvac.]
Lord Victor Quartermaine: I want...toupee, please.
Wallace: Oh, grand. We take cheques or cash.
Lord Victor Quartermaine: Toupee, you idiot. My hair is in your machine.
Wallace: Oh, no, it's only rabbits in there. The hare I think you'll find is a much larger mammal.

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Mr. and Mrs. Smith picture

John: That's the second time you've tried to kill me today.
Jane: Oh, come on. It was just a little bomb.

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Factotum picture

Pickle Factory boss: Writer huh? Are you sure?
Henry Chinaski: No, I'm not. I'm halfway through a novel.
Pickle Factory boss: What's it about?
Henry Chinaski: Everything.
Pickle Factory boss: It's about... cancer?
Henry Chinaski: Yes.
Pickle Factory boss: How about my wife?
Henry Chinaski: She's in there too.

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Kinky Boots picture

Big Mike: Well, you wouldn't put a frock on. If you don't want to get off with blokes, why put a frock on?
Lola: Thing is, Mike, ask any woman what she likes most in a man. Compassion, tenderness, sensitivity. Traditionally the female virtues. Perhaps what women secretly desire is a man who is fundamentally a woman.

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The Upside Of Anger picture

Hadley Wolfmeyer: What kind of a dickhead runs away with his secretary? That is lame, take a right, make a left at pathetic.

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Chicken Little picture

Buck Cluck: You gotta be ready to listen to your children, even if they have nothing to say.

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