Fidelity (aka: Truth or Consequences) - S1-E7
House: As long as you're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want.
House: So between us, we can do whatever we want. We can rule the world!
Robbie Rotten: Have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking a window?
Trixie: Nuh uh.
Robbie Rotten: Would you like to?
Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president.
Benjamin Linus: Your flight crashed on September 22,2004. Today is November 29th. That means you've been on this island for sixty-nine days. And yes, we do have contact with the outside world, Jack. That's how we know that during those sixty-nine days, your fellow Americans re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve has passed away, Boston Red Sox won the World Series.
[Jack begins to laugh.]
Benjamin Linus: What?
Jack Shepard: [Still laughing.] If you wanted me to believe that, you probably should have picked somebody else besides the Red Sox.
Bejmain Linus: No, they were down 3-0 against the Yankees in the Championship Series and then won eight straight.
Jack Shepard: [Skeptically.] Sure, sure. Of course they did.
[Ben turns on a VCR.]
Joe Buck: Back to Foulke... Red Sox fans have longed to hear it! The Boston Red Sox are world champions! A clean sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Red Sox celebrate in the middle of the diamond here at Busch Stadium.
Gabrielle: I feel a wave of morning sickness coming on, and I want to be standing on your mother's grave when it hits.
Tag Team Trial: Part 1 - S1-E10
Syrus Truesdale: First, I'm going to summon Gyroid in attack mode.
Para: You must be joking. I am surprised that thing even has an attack mode.
Ava Gregory: You are not the only one who lost somebody.
Dr. Martin Ellingham: Is there anyone here who has a genuine medical problem?
Paul: You know, sometimes a guys just gotta set the world on fire, hey Rolfy. I wonder if there's a nice bottle of rubbing alcohol around here, and a match.
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: I can do a surface dive in my pyjamas.
Dr. Macartney: That's probably very handy for a bedwetter.
Alice: We need like, rules of un-attraction.
Gerry Standing: Will you stop creeping up on me.
Brian Lane: I don't creep, I glide.
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Got B.O.? Get DEO.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Albert, what the hell were you doing in a church today?
Albert Stroller: Gil Stewart died this afternoon. I was there at the end.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Oh God, I'm so sorry Albert. You two were like brothers.
Albert Stroller: We worked Vegas together. That man was made for bright lights. Poor bastard - died of a stroke in a dental surgery.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Well, someone should sue them.
Albert Stroller: Aye, he was pretending to be the dentist.
Dr. Rodney McKay: I'm sorry. It's just... I react to certain doom in a certain way. It's a bad habit.
Kagetoki Kariya: This flower is an example of a beautiful exterior masking its true intentions. Intentions that are really quite brutal.
Cooper Day: You gotta stop bein' the bunny and step up to the plate.
Abby Day: That's an absurd sentence.
Cooper Day: Absurd or brilliant?
Megan Parker: Why is Josh screaming? Have the eggs hatched?