Best TV quotes of 2004

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Lazytown picture

Robbie Rotten: Have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking a window?
Trixie: Nuh uh.
Robbie Rotten: Would you like to?

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Lost picture

The Glass Ballerina - S3-E2

Benjamin Linus: Your flight crashed on September 22,2004. Today is November 29th. That means you've been on this island for sixty-nine days. And yes, we do have contact with the outside world, Jack. That's how we know that during those sixty-nine days, your fellow Americans re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve has passed away, Boston Red Sox won the World Series.
[Jack begins to laugh.]
Benjamin Linus: What?
Jack Shepard: [Still laughing.] If you wanted me to believe that, you probably should have picked somebody else besides the Red Sox.
Bejmain Linus: No, they were down 3-0 against the Yankees in the Championship Series and then won eight straight.
Jack Shepard: [Skeptically.] Sure, sure. Of course they did.
[Ben turns on a VCR.]
Joe Buck: Back to Foulke... Red Sox fans have longed to hear it! The Boston Red Sox are world champions! A clean sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Red Sox celebrate in the middle of the diamond here at Busch Stadium.

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Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends picture

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Got B.O.? Get DEO.

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Boston Legal picture

Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president.

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Desperate Housewives picture

Silly People - S2-E14

Carlos: You know who you are, Gaby? You're the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.
Gabrielle: Well, they should have called ahead.

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Hustle picture

Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Albert, what the hell were you doing in a church today?
Albert Stroller: Gil Stewart died this afternoon. I was there at the end.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Oh God, I'm so sorry Albert. You two were like brothers.
Albert Stroller: We worked Vegas together. That man was made for bright lights. Poor bastard - died of a stroke in a dental surgery.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Well, someone should sue them.
Albert Stroller: Aye, he was pretending to be the dentist.

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Samurai Champloo picture

Mugen: When you point a sword at someone either you kill them or they kill you, there ain't no inbetween. So quit talkin' like a fuckin' pussy. Anyone who can't handle that should just shut THE fuck UP and GET over IT.

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Rescue Me picture

Chief Jerry Reilly: Blessed screaming Jesus on a whole-wheat goddamn cracker.

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The Mighty Boosh picture

Vince Noir: Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard... Howard?
Howard Moon: This better be good.
Vince Noir: You know the black bits in bananas, are they tarantulas' eggs?
Howard Moon: Please don't speak to me ever again in your life.

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The Apprentice picture

Donald Trump: It's a little bit like: watch somebody sell their used car and not wash it. You can spend $10 washing the car and get another $200 for the car. And I've seen guys, they're selling cars that are dirty, and I say, "That guy is a loser."

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Summerland picture

Ava Gregory: You are not the only one who lost somebody.

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The Days picture

Cooper Day: You gotta stop bein' the bunny and step up to the plate.
Abby Day: That's an absurd sentence.
Cooper Day: Absurd or brilliant?

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Joey picture

Joey and the Dream Girl (2) - S1-E9

Michael: You're a hot girl. Hot girls get stuff for free.
Joey: Yeah, it's true. It's in the Constitution.
Alex: Look, I know what I am. I'm not a hot girl. I'm cute.
Michael: You're a hot girl that doesn't know she's hot. Joey was telling me about those.
Alex: No, I know hot girls. My sister is one of them.
Michael: "The even hotter sister" – one of four ways a girl doesn't realise she’s hot. Along with "went to a girls' school", "used to be fat", and "is blind."
Joey: You have learned well, young Michael.

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Drawn Together picture

Super Nanny - S2-E7

Super Nanny: What's going on here?
Toot: Oh, nothing. Captain Shero was just trying to take my barrette.
Captain Hero: It's pronounced Hero. The S is silent, you hithead.

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Kingdom Hospital picture

Paul: You know, sometimes a guys just gotta set the world on fire, hey Rolfy. I wonder if there's a nice bottle of rubbing alcohol around here, and a match.

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Ghost Hunters picture

Grant Wilson: It's you, you stupid cat. Your nose whistles.

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