Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?
Gimli: Certainty of death; small chance of success...what are we waiting for?
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!
Lawyer: So Mr. Montgomery, are you claiming there was no bumblebee present at the time of the incident?
Earl Montgomery: No, I'm not. There was a bumblebee present, man.
Lawyer: Oh, good.
Earl Montgomery: And there were birds chirpin'. There were dogs barkin'. Hell, for all I know, there was a chipmunk in the bushes, humping a turtle! You know you gotta be careful with them chipmunks. They'll hump anything!
O-Ren Ishii: As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, but always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've chosen is the wisest, tell me so. But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is: I collect your fucking head. [Holds up Boss Tanaka's head.] Just like this fucker here. Now if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME! [Silence.] I didn't think so.
David Gale: There once was a lesbian from Cancun/ who took a young man up to her room/ where they argued all night/ as to who had the right/ to do what and how much and to whom.
Cat in the Hat: Don't worry, I have three plans. Plan A: Mess up a perfectly clean house. Done that! Plan B: Cut your losses and ditch the kids. That could work.
Sally: What about that one?
Cat in the Hat: Plan C: Trick Mom's boyfriend into handing over dog and lock. I don't know. I still like Plan B.
George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
Tom: Oh. I better tell her.
George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
George: She's dead!
George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
Sue: My dog's dead?
George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!
Kar: So, I figured it out, why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan so be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.
Dorian Gray: Ah, the bedroom. Does it give you memories or ideas?
Mina Harker: Ideas. [Stabs him in the lower parts.].
Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.
Ed: Listen to me, dude, I'm having a really fucked-up, really wet, very bad fucking day.
Capt. Jack Aubrey: This is the second time he's done this to me. There will not be a third.
Tom Smith: You know, you don't throw a whole life away just 'cause he's banged up a little.