Best comedy movie quotes of 2003

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl picture Video

Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them... Three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to get yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?

More Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl quotes
Bad Boys II picture

Mike Lowrey: We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.

More Bad Boys II quotes
Love Actually picture

Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!

More Love Actually quotes
The Cat in the Hat picture

Cat in the Hat: Don't worry, I have three plans. Plan A: Mess up a perfectly clean house. Done that! Plan B: Cut your losses and ditch the kids. That could work.
Sally: What about that one?
Cat in the Hat: Plan C: Trick Mom's boyfriend into handing over dog and lock. I don't know. I still like Plan B.

More The Cat in the Hat quotes
Elf picture

Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

More Elf quotes
National Security picture

Lawyer: So Mr. Montgomery, are you claiming there was no bumblebee present at the time of the incident?
Earl Montgomery: No, I'm not. There was a bumblebee present, man.
Lawyer: Oh, good.
Earl Montgomery: And there were birds chirpin'. There were dogs barkin'. Hell, for all I know, there was a chipmunk in the bushes, humping a turtle! You know you gotta be careful with them chipmunks. They'll hump anything!

More National Security quotes
Scary Movie 3 picture

George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
Tom: Oh. I better tell her.
George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
Sue: Yes?
George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
Sue: Yeah.
George: She's dead!
Sue: Aah!
George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
Sue: My dog's dead?
George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!

More Scary Movie 3 quotes
Finding Nemo picture

Gurgle: Oh, the human mouth is a disgusting place.

More Finding Nemo quotes
Johnny English picture

Bough: Shall we call for back-up sir?
Johnny English: What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so.

More Johnny English quotes
School of Rock picture

Dewey: Billy what makes you angrier than anything in the world?
Billy: You.
Dewey: Billy, we've already told me off, now let's move on.
Billy: You're tacky and I hate you.
Dewey: Ok, you see me after class!

More School of Rock quotes
Kangaroo Jack picture

Louis Booker: Don't worry, Charlie. We'll get the money back, all right? He can't go far.
Charlie Carbone: It's a continent, Louis. He can go very far.
Louis Booker: I know it's a continent. I read the book.
Charlie Carbone: Did you happen to read the chapter on not putting your jacket on a wild animal?
Louis Booker: No, but I did read the chapter on how an aborigine can kill a white man with a twig. Do you want to see that one?

More Kangaroo Jack quotes
The Cheetah Girls picture

Galleria: If he can't respect my art, he can't have my heart.

More The Cheetah Girls quotes
Under the Tuscan Sun picture

Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.

More Under the Tuscan Sun quotes
Bruce Almighty picture

Bruce: God, why do you hate me?

More Bruce Almighty quotes
Bad Santa picture

Willy:...and I went to my father. And you know what he did? He kicked my ass. And do you know why?
Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy's dishes?

More Bad Santa quotes
Anger Management picture

Lou: So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. And I was like, you know 'Don't go there, ' you know. But he kept on about wanting to see some kind of a doctor's note or something. And I said 'Look, I'm seriously serious. You don't want to go there. He kept talking and talking and being such a nag, and I just blacked out. I blacked out. And I woke up, and I was standing over him and I was screaming "I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!"

More Anger Management quotes
Daddy Day Care picture

Becca: We need more learning about things.
Charlie Hinton: More learning about things?
Becca: Yes. We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds.

More Daddy Day Care quotes
A Mighty Wind picture

Lars Olfen: I had a garage band in Stockholm, which was a challenge in its own right, to keep an instrument tuned with that temperature swing. There's a block warmer for the Volvo in the garage but it's cold in there in the winter. So we played and I had a hit that you might have heard of. "Hur?r l?get, lilla gumman?" which means, "How's It Hanging, Grandma?" and it was big on the Swedish charts.

More A Mighty Wind quotes
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle picture

Natalie Cook: Tickets, I love tickets.

More Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle quotes
The Fighting Temptations picture

Lilly: She is not a Christian. My mama said hollering in a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a Cadillac.

More The Fighting Temptations quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.