The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go my schedule simply wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no-one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?
Commodus: The general who became a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an emperor. Striking story! But now, the people want to know how the story ends. Only a famous death will do. And what could be more glorious than to challenge the Emperor himself in the great arena?
Maximus: You would fight me?
Commodus: Why not? Do you think I am afraid?
Maximus: I think you've been afraid all your life.
Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy: Well, mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner.
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Jesse: No "and then"!
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Arnie: A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - forever.
Patrick Bateman: You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood.
Novalee Nation: What do you think? It took me a whole month to get back to my old size.
Thelma 'Sister' Husband: Oh, well, a little weight on a woman is no harm.
Arley: I want to wear the green dress.
Trevor McKenney: You look like a vampire in that.
Magneto: Are you a God-fearing man, Senator? It's such a strange phrase. I always thought of God as a teacher. As a bringer of light, wisdom and understanding. You see, I think what you really are afraid of is me. Me and my kind. The Brotherhood of Mutants.
Pat Summerall: That's the second time tonight a Washington player's been knocked out by his own teammate.
John Madden: You know, there's a rule in sports, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations."
Pat Summerall: There is?
John Madden: Yep.
Pete: I'll get tickets.
Natalie: I love tickets!
Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends,
Cookie Fleck: Hundreds,
Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?
Cookie Fleck: Yeah, hundreds.
Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that.
Colonel William Tavington: Kill me before the war is over, will you? It appears that you are not the better man.
Benjamin Martin: You're right. My sons were better men.
Babs: I don't want to be a pie! I don't like gravy.
Donnie: I asked her that myself one time. She said I was the only man in town that knew how to fuck.
David: You're disgusting.
Forrester: Writers write things to give readers something to read.
Virginia: "For seven men, she gave her life. For one good man, she was his wife. Beneath the ice by Snow White Falls, there lies the fairest of them all."
Monica: I'll play you.
Quincy: For what?
Monica: Your heart.
Rob Gordon: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?