Earl: What a man needs out here is a CB radio.
Jeff Taylor: Is that right?
Earl: 'Course, if you use a CB, you gotta have a handle. I'm thinking for you, "Shit For Brains."
Simon Templar: Do you know what the worst part about being you is?
Ivan Tretiak: What.
Simon Templar: Pretending to be so bad in bed.
Ivan Tretiak: You son of the bitch.
Humbert: I missed you. I missed you a lot.
Lolita: Well I haven't missed you. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. But it doesn't matter, because you don't care about me anymore anyway.
Humbert: What makes you think I don't care about you?
Lolita: Well you haven't kissed me yet, have you?
Trevor Garfield: Has anybody read 'Animal Farm'?
Cesar: No, but I fucked a sheep once.
Rudy Baylor: Sworn in by a fool and vouched for by a scoundrel. I'm a lawyer at last.
Thomas Devoe: I don't know about these guys, but General Aleksandr Kodoroff doesn't ride around on a nuclear transportation train. It's like Ivana Trump on the subway.
Beatrice: I'll tell you something right now; I know Edgar and that wasn't Edgar. It's like something was wearing Edgar like a suit. An Edgar suit.
Himmel: Don't flatter me.
Pest: Alright. You have a big nose, your feet stink and your mother dresses you funny.
Nicholas: I don't care about the money. I'm pulling back the curtain. I want to meet the wizard.
Guido: I forgot to tell you.
Dora: Go ahead.
Guido: You can't imagine how much I feel like making love to you. But I'll never tell anyone, especially not you. They'd have to torture me to make me say it.
Dora: Say what?
Guido: That I want to make love to you - not just once, but over and over again! But I'll never tell you that. I'd have to be crazy to tell you. I'd even make love to you now... right here for the rest of my life.
Elzora: Some things are better left unsaid.
Mozelle Batiste Delacroix: I paid you a dollar, old woman. Now tell my fortune.
Elzora: I don't need no cat bones to tell your fortune, Mozelle Batiste. You are a curse. The Black Widow. Next man that marries you is a dead man. Like the others. Always be that way.
Debi Newberry: You're a psychopath.
Martin Blank: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for money. It's a job... That didn't come out right.
Alex: Excuse me for being a good citizen.
Max Cherry: I'll bet, besides maybe an afro, you look exactly how you did at 29.
Jackie Brown: Well, my ass ain't the same.
Max Cherry: Bigger?
Jackie Brown: Yeah.
Max Cherry: Ain't nothin' wrong with that.
Officer David Caporizo: Oh, and did this killer use his hook to cut all your hair off?
Helen: No, he used scissors, asshole.
James Russell: I want some answers.
Franklin Hatchett: Hey man, me and Guy just down here, checkin' out some fly rides, and mackin' some hos and chillin'.
James Russell: Imagine that. It's like a G-Dog on a fly tip. Flossin' wit da posse. Cuttin' in da crib. what THE fuck does that mean?
Franklin Hatchett: Man, I don't wanna have to beat yo ass, but I will beat yo ass.
Alex Whitman: Where are you going?
Isabel Fuentes: You're not my favorite person right now.
Alex Whitman: Yeah, well, you either.
Marty: You don't know when to quit, do ya Griswold? Here's an idea: Why don't you give me half the money you were gonna bet? Then, we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day.
Ursula's mother: When Lyle returns, this wedding will proceed as planned. If you do anything to upset that, I'll remove your reason for wearing a loincloth.